You’ve noticed that your friend is not acting like his usual self. He’s been skipping out on after school football practice and not responding to text messages the way he normally does.
You’re worried that he’s struggling and are not sure how to act or how to be a good friend during this tough time. What should you do?
1. Be prepared to listen
Youth mental health service ReachOut encourages you to start a conversation with your friend.
Choose a time when you’re both relaxed before expressing your concerns and be prepared to listen more than you talk.
You may find that your friend doesn’t want to talk about their feelings – this is okay. Remember to respect their decision by letting them know that you’ve noticed a change in their behaviour and that you’re happy to listen when or if they choose to open up.
2. Make them laugh
George Byron once said: “Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine”.
Whether it’s the latest viral video on YouTube, a funny Snapchat account, or a meme you couldn’t stop giggling at – pass these along to your friend.
Laughter has been proven to decrease stress hormones and trigger the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemical. And we know that all good friends enjoy a laugh every once in a while!
3. Offer to help find distractions
When you’re struggling with mental illness the desire to leave the house may vanish – we discussed this recently in our post 5 tips on leaving the house when your anxiety takes over.
Asking your mate to come out with you for the day has the potential to be a powerful nudge in the right direction. Alternatively, offering to play video games or watch Netflix at home are great ideas too.
Simply showing your friend that you’re there for him through this rough patch can be the first step towards him seeking additional support.
4. Encourage them to seek professional help
If your friends behaviour is concerning you, it’s important to encourage them to seek professional help. You could suggest that they open up to their family, or talk to someone like a doctor or health professional.
This can be a tricky conversation so try not to force the issue or place pressure on them – they will open up when they are ready.
When they do talk, offer to help find and schedule an appointment with a health professional; you could even offer to go to the appointment with your friend. Knowing a friendly face in the waiting room may help them relax before and after their appointment.
We regularly receive emails and messages from concerned family and friends who are seeking guidance in what to do. We have a full list of professional contacts we are able to put you in touch with the right people.
The exception is if you are worried that your friend is in danger or at risk of hurting themselves or someone else. In this instance you need to seek assistance immediately. Call 000 to reach emergency services and then reach out to a parent or teacher.
You can also contact the beyondblue Support Service for help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Finally, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re not a mental health professional and simply offering to talk and do what you can shows how good of a friend you already are.
